


Every breath you take

by weebeanie



Category: EastEnders
Genre: Angst, Dubious Consent, Dubious Morality, Intimidation, M/M, Manipulation, Mentions of Murder, Threats, mentions of body disposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-28
Updated: 2013-01-28
Packaged: 2017-11-27 05:55:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/658693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weebeanie/pseuds/weebeanie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Matthew struggle to cope with the aftermath of Saskia's death and their decision to hide her body. As Matthew reaches breaking point what will Steve be prepared to do to keep him under control?</p><p>Sometimes, Steve could fool himself that he was completely selfless. That everything he did was to protect Matthew. The kid wouldn’t last a week in prison. Anyone could see that. He was too vulnerable, too innocent… too tempting. He’d be eaten alive.</p><p>Other days Steve was a little more honest with himself. He could admit that part of him, a large part, enjoyed watching Matthew struggle. Part of him revelled in the fact that they were connected by secrets so dark that no one would ever come close to knowing Matt like he did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every breath you take

If only he could rest, Matthew knew he'd be able to think again.

If only it would be _quiet_ , he could work out what to do.

But it was never quiet inside his head. He couldn't block out the nightmares. Couldn't stop replaying every minute of that night over and over again, trying to find the moment he could have changed things; done _something_. He couldn't escape from the voices tormenting him. Couldn't block out Saskia's crazed screams, his own desperate pleas and Steve, always Steve, coaxing, warning, demanding...

Just getting through each new day was an effort. He had to keep up the pretence that everything was normal, that he was normal, that he didn’t have blood on his hands. As if _he_ was still that carefree, careless teenager excited to be out on his own. As if his biggest worry was whether he’d take enough money on the stall to make rent this week.

Not whether the hole they’d dug had been deep enough.

He’d _told_ Steve it should have been deeper but Steve never listened to him. He couldn’t make Steve listen and there was no one else to hear. No one to confess to... But maybe Steve was right. It _was_ too late for confessions.

If only he could rest, he’d be able to think again.

If only it would be quiet, he could work out what to do.

But it was never quiet inside his head and everywhere he turned Steve was there, watching him, waiting for him to fall apart... to break.

***

If he could just keep Matthew from falling apart they could survive this.

If the boy would just do as he was _told_ they could get away clear.

Steve sometimes felt like every moment of his existence was consumed by Matt. The boy didn’t appreciate how much time Steve spent worrying about him, for him. He couldn’t relax when Matt was out of his sight. Every minute apart was another chance of the boy breaking down, opening his mouth and getting them both locked up for life.

Steve might _know_ he could survive prison but that just made him all the more determined to avoid going back. He’d worked too hard to put the past behind him and earn respect as a businessman. He wasn’t willing to serve a single day for defending himself against his obsessed ex. No, Saskia’s death didn’t trouble his conscience at all. If he had any regrets it was that he’d slept with the psycho bitch in the first place.

It wasn’t Saskia’s face that kept Steve from sleep, it was Matthew’s.

Steve had been drawn to Matt since his arrival in Walford. He’d seen the potential in the streetwise charmer; sensed the ambition and hunger beneath the brash exterior. Playing the role of mentor was surprisingly appealing. The occasional glimpses of vulnerability and desperate need to please only added extra spice to the situation. Steve couldn’t deny that he got a kick out of being the object of Matt’s hero-worship.

It was _all_ innocent of course.

He wouldn’t risk his newfound respectability and position by actually laying a hand on a teenage kid who worked for him, even if he was a few years past the age of consent. That was hardly the image Steve wanted to portray. He just liked being the centre of Matt’s universe, especially after the kid’s parents moved away. He enjoyed keeping an eye on Matt, encouraging him, taking care of him.

Of course getting the kid embroiled in covering up a death probably wasn’t the best way to take care of him.

Sometimes, Steve could fool himself that he was completely selfless. That everything he did was to protect Matthew. The kid wouldn’t last a week in prison. Anyone could see that. He was too vulnerable, too innocent… too _tempting_. He’d be eaten alive.

Other days Steve was a little more honest. He could admit that part of him, a large part, enjoyed watching Matthew struggle. Part of him revelled in the fact that they were connected by secrets so dark that no one would ever come close to knowing Matt like he did.

No one would ever take care of Matt like he did.

***

He was so close.

Matthew closed his eyes and leaned back. Everything would be better soon. Just a few hours on the coach and he’d be with his mum and dad. Away from the voices and memories that tormented him, he’d be able to think again. He’d be able to sleep.

“I think you’re sitting in my seat.”

Matthew turned around and jerked upwards in shock. “ _Steve_.”

A firm hand held him in place as Steve leaned towards him, surrounding him. “I called your dad. I said you’d forgotten something which is _true_ of course, because you have. Your _loyalty_ … To me.”

“No. I…”

Matthew’s instinctive protest was cut off as Steve tugged him closer, one hand gripping his jacket and the other curling round his neck. Steve’s breath was warm against Matthew’s neck, his voice an intimate whisper. “Now don’t make a scene. We’re getting off.”

Matthew allowed Steve to lead him off the coach and towards the car park. What was the point in fighting? He’d tried to run, tried to get away from Steve. He couldn’t even manage to get out of the city. He was so tired of feeling afraid, so tired of fighting. Matthew let himself lean into the hard body supporting his, welcoming the strength of the arm wrapped round his shoulder, pinning him to the older man’s side.

Once they reached the car, Steve’s hands pulled him close, straightening his jacket and sliding upwards to rest on his shoulders. Matthew reluctantly raised his eyes to meet Steve’s questioning gaze.

“Well?”

Matthew shrugged and dropped his head in defeat. “There’s nothing to say.”

Steve’s laughter was harsh. “So you got on the bus by _mistake_ is that it?”

Matthew raised pleading eyes, his hands gesturing nervously as he stammered out an explanation. If he could just make Steve understand, maybe he would let him go after all. “N-no. I _had_ to see my folks. But you _said_ I could go. You, you even gave me the money.”

Steve pulled him closer, strong hands sliding to encircle his neck. His lips skimmed along Matthew’s jawline. “That was when I trusted you Matt. I don’t anymore.” The softly spoken words sent a chill through Matthew.

His hands gripped the front of Steve’s leather jacket, anchoring himself even as he tried to convince them both that he had it all planned out. “I was going to come back after a few days…”

Suddenly the firm grip on his neck was painful as Steve pushed his face against the car and moulded his body against Matthew’s back, growling harshly into his ear. “Oh _right_. Do I look stupid to you do I? I must. You _lied_ to me about the money. Now I catch you trying to grab a quick holiday with your mum and dad. What’s going on?

Matthew stifled a sob, resting his forehead against the cool metal of the car. His whispered confession was barely audible. “I’m scared, alright? I didn’t know what to do.”

How was he supposed to deal with this? How could Steve expect him to act as if everything was normal? It wasn’t. It never would be again.

Steve’s grip softened, his hands stroking as he tugged Matthew to face him, voice soft and coaxing. “You should have come to _me_ first. I’ll take care of you Matt. You _know_ that.”

It was so tempting to just give in, take the comfort Steve was offering and let him fix everything. Just like he promised he would. Matthew knew he could lose himself in Steve, block out the memories and the voices and just be… whatever Steve wanted him to be. Matthew shook his head, trying to clear his sudden confusion. This wasn’t what he wanted. This wasn’t the plan. Words tumbled out of him, the desperate pleas forming without conscious thought.

“But I won’t say anything, I _promise_. I just want to see my mum and dad. You _know_ where I’ll be. I won’t talk to anybody. I _wouldn’t_ ”

But Steve was unyielding.

“From now on I’m not letting you out of my sight. You’re coming back to Walford with me.”

Matthew tried to pull away, shaking his head in denial. “I don’t want to go back.”

“Just get in the car.”

His voice broke as he begged openly. “Steve. You can trust me, you _can_.”

“You’re not listening to me, Matt. Just _get_ in the car.”

“Please Steve, _please_.”

Steve’s hold on his arms was suddenly punishing as he shook Matthew angrily then yanked him close. He didn’t relax the bruising grip as he spoke coldly. “You’re starting to get me _angry_.”

His icy blue gaze pierced Matthew, stealing his breath, scattering his thoughts.

“I _like_ getting my own way Matt, you know that. Don’t you?"

Matthew nodded quickly, blinking back the hot rush of tears that threatened.

“You’ve _seen_ what happens to people that get in my way.”

Matthew struggled to breathe as memories of Saskia’s last moments overwhelmed him. He barely registered Steve hands pulling at him, soothing him. He felt numb as he slid into the car, meekly obeying Steve’s instructions. A hand stroked through Matthew’s curly brown hair and he instinctively moved towards the source of comfort. He burrowed into Steve’s arms as the older man murmured praise and reassurances of protection.

He couldn’t keep fighting Steve. It was too hard. He just needed to get some rest, some sleep. Matthew closed his eyes and curled into the seat as Steve started the car.

He tried to forget the fact that every mile was taking them closer to Walford.

Everything was going to be okay. It _had_ to be.

Steve would take care of him.

***

 _Of course_ Matthew would be a flight risk.

Steve was past the point of worrying about his reputation when a murder trial was the alternative. He was experienced at taking any shit the universe threw at him and turning it to roses. It was all a matter of preparing for every conceivable (and inconceivable) contingency. Steve had back-up plans for his back-up plans.

It all came down to the risks he was willing to take, the sacrifices he was willing to make.

Matthew was either a risk worth taking or a necessary sacrifice to keep Steve free.

Right now, the boy was such a bundle of exposed nerves and flailing limbs he was incapable of making rational decisions. One welcoming hug from his parents and he’d be pouring out the whole sordid tale. It was difficult enough to stop him from making drunken confessions to his friends. If Steve was going to keep this situation under control he would need to stay _much_ closer to Matt.

Moving Matthew into his flat was only practical.

Moving Matthew into his bed was _mostly_ practical.

***

He was so close.

Matthew closed his eyes and leaned back. Everything would be better soon.

“Steve, _please_.”

His plea was answered by a low chuckle and strong hands cupping his face.

“I’ve got you Matt, I’ve always got you.”

Only Steve could keep the nightmares away, keep him from drowning in fear and regret. He’d tried to do it alone and failed. It wasn’t silence he needed. He needed Steve’s voice to ground him, needed Steve’s low whispers to block out Saskia’s shrill screams.

Matthew relaxed back into the softness of Steve’s bed, welcoming the heat of the muscled body above his. Steve gripped Matthew’s wrists, pulling his arms up so he could touch the cool metal of the bed frame above his head. “Keep your hands here. I don’t need to tie you up do I Matthew? You’ll stay where I put you.”

A tiny voice at the back of Matthew’s head whimpered that this was wrong. He shouldn’t want Steve like this. That he shouldn’t enjoy this. Matthew was fucking tired of voices in his head. His body was seriously on board with this so his brain was just going to have to come along for the ride. He curled his hands around the metal and met Steve’s gaze. “Yes, Steve.”

Steve’s grin was wolfish. “That’s my good boy. You _are_ my boy, aren’t you Matthew?”

Matthew knew the correct answer to _that_ question. “Yeah. I’m all yours.” He shifted restlessly as his excitement grew. Steve _liked_ it when Matthew admitted that. It always led to _such_ good things.

Steve rewarded him immediately with a hungry kiss. Matthew kissed back greedily. His previous teenage fumblings had hardly given him a taste of what it felt like to be consumed by someone who knew what they were doing. Steve’s kisses were almost embarrassingly stimulating. Then again, Matthew was nineteen so he was _supposed_ to have a hair trigger. Steve moved to lick and kiss along his jaw and down his neck. Matthew gritted his teeth and clenched his fists, determined not to come without permission. He shivered a little, thinking of how pleased Steve would be with him. A cry broke from his lips as Steve reached a particularly sensitive spot, nipping and sucking to replenish the fading mark there.

“You like that, don’t you Matthew?”

“Feels so good... I don’t… I can’t _think_ when you do that.”

“We can’t have you thinking too much Matthew. That’s when you get yourself into trouble, isn’t it? Just trust me. I’ll get you there. I promise.”

Suddenly Steve’s sleek body was pressing Matthew’s into the mattress. Steve’s hands seemed to be everywhere at once as he stroked, pinched and teased.

“Steve, please. I need…”

Steve’s hands slid lower still on Matthew’s sweat-slicked body, so near to wear he wanted them. Matthew shifted his hips, seeking more friction. He was so _close_.

“What do you need Matt?”

Matthew licked his lips, and focused pleading eyes on Steve. He wanted to be good but he couldn’t hold off much longer. “I need to come. Please, Steve. _Let me_.”

Steve pressed a satisfied smirk against his lips and licked into Matthew’s mouth, kissing him thoroughly. He slid a slick hand to grip Matthew’s cock and worked it firmly, holding Matthew’s gaze as he pulled. “Come on then Matt, come for me.”

The command triggered an immediate reaction and Matthew shuddered through an intense climax. In response, Steve moved over Matthew, grinding their bodies together and thrusting again and again as he sought his own release. His cock pulsed and jerked, releasing jets of semen along Matthew’s body.

Steve rubbed his hand across Matthew’s stomach, mixing the fluids there before reaching to touch Matthew’s face, his thumb parting Matthew’s lips. Matthew opened for him instinctively, licking and sucking to clean Steve’s hand and discover their mingled tastes.

Steve smiled. “Good boy, Matt. You’re so good for me.”

***

It was obvious that the kid slept better when Steve was wrapped around him. Which worked out well, since Steve had no intention of letting Matthew go anytime soon, if ever. The boy came apart so beautifully under Steve’s hands and fit into his arms like he belonged there.

Maybe that crazy bitch Saskia had done him a favour after all. Not that covering up a death together would be considered a normal part of the average relationship. But he’d never aspired to be average.

If he was a better man he’d set Matthew free, send him back to his family with a cautionary tale against befriending big bad wolves.

Yeah, like there was a chance of that happening! Maybe this was a fucked up situation but Steve didn’t give a damn.

He ran a hand through Matthew’s curls, stroked his cheek and pulled him closer. As he drifted into sleep Steve made a mental note that he really needed to take care of that whole dead body situation. It wouldn’t do to have anyone stumbling over the shallow grave. Having to frame Matthew for murder at this point would really annoy Steve and he _did_ so like to get his own way.

No it would be much wiser to find a more permanent solution and remove the danger to them both.

Of course it was nothing to worry Matthew about.

Steve would take care of _everything._

**Author's Note:**

> Eastenders is a UK soap opera. Steve Owen and Matthew Rose were the centre of a major story line when nightclub owner Steve killed his ex in self-defense after she attacked him. He then manipulated witness Matthew into helping him dispose of the body. Poor Matthew came to regret that decision! Matthew Rose was played by Joe Absolom and Steve Owen was played by Martin Kemp of Spandau Ballet. Steve was charismatic and way too touchy feely with Matt for a story which didn't contain any canon slash! I was excited to see this prompt as I shipped Steve/Matthew in my innocent days before I knew what shipping or slash was!


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